Oh man, every girl’s secret nightmare: your crush likes someone else. Or at least you suspect they do.
“Love hurts” didn’t turn into a famous saying for nothing. Sometimes love is unpredictable. Ha, who am I kidding, love is always unpredictable! Why couldn’t it just be simple, ya know?
Like a thorny rose, love is both beautiful and painful. But isn’t that the point after all? One thing that is for certain is that you have little control over who your heart chooses to love.
Having a crush on someone is the best giddy feeling, isn’t it? It represents the vivid red petals of a rose.
You get butterflies in the pit of your stomach and your heart flutters. Your palms may even get slightly sweaty and you may get totally nervous when your crush is around.
But as life teaches us, where there is beauty there is also pain not far away. The thorny part of this picture is that well, your crush may not have the same fluttering feeling about you (if ya know what I mean).
As one of my favorite quotes goes, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” -Alfred Lord Tennyson. Oh Alfred, how did you become so wise?!
If you are having doubts about whether your crush likes someone else, then look no further. Here you will find 10 signs that will help you determine if your crush really likes someone else (or if you just think they do).
I’ll be crossing my fingers for you!
1. He Never Messages You First
Girls, never waste your time with a guy that just doesn’t invest his time in you. You deserve every minute of his available attention!
If your crush is never messaging you first, either to say a simple good morning or good night message, that means you aren’t on his mind when he wakes up or when he goes to sleep. Eh, that’s not a very good sign.
Your crush totally has the time to send you a message. If he doesn’t message you, you shouldn’t jump at the opportunity to message him first every time. Let him come to you gal!
Show him you aren’t going to wait on him hand and foot.
2. He Always Introduces You as His “Friend”
Watch out for this one ladies. If your bae always refers to you as his “friend” in front of his friends or family, then that should wave a huge red flag!
It might be time to take a step back and think about your relationship. If your crush doesn’t want to be seen with you as a couple then it’s definitely possible that he is reserving the girlfriend spot for someone else. Ouch.
Look, if he wants to refer to you as only his friend but nothing more, maybe it’s time you show him exactly what being only a “friend” means.
And no I’m definitely not suggesting being ‘friends with benefits’. Don’t buy into his game!
He may need some time alone to reconsider how he feels about you. If some much-needed reflection time doesn’t clear his head, your crush maybe crushing on someone else after all.
3. He’s Not Interested in Your Day
A simple way to determine if your crush is into someone else is to see if your crush is interested in you and how your day is going.
It just makes sense to care about someone’s day if you really like that person, right? So if your phone hasn’t buzzed all day, chances are your crush feelings are not mutual. Sorry!
When someone has a crush, it’s like they have just guzzled down a love potion.
You should be all they think about!
If your crush doesn’t ask about how you are doing or how your day is going, then it’s probably best you find a new crush, asap!
You will totally recognize when the feeling is mutual. It’ll be like a messaging competition of who can send the most romantic texts in one day!
He should be definitely interested in your day. And if he’s not, it’s probably because he is too busy being interested in how some other girls day is going.
Sometimes the truth hurts too, but don’t sweat this one chica.
One day you’ll find the perfect guy who is interested in every little thing you do every single day, no matter how truly busy he is!
4. He Is Always Cancelling on You
Excuses, excuses, excuses! Ugh! Are you tired of the lame excuses he is spitting out like free popcorn at a movie theater?
Girls as you know, sometimes in life sh*t just happens. Your crush may experience a few moments where he just cannot commit to the plans you made together and has to cancel.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me” is totally appropriate in this case!
Your crush is allowed the occasional rain check, but come on. If he is canceling your plans together almost all the time, it may be because he is spending all his *precious* time with someone else.
Not cool, dude!
If you find yourself in this situation, it’s time you sit him down for a serious one-on-one chat.
Heck, just make plans to go out anyway, despite his last-minute cancellation! Go have fun and enjoy yourself, you deserve it!
5. He’s Constantly on His Phone While Around You
Right, let me get this straight. If you are next to your crush, but your crush is thumbing away at his phone, who exactly is he talking to? It’s not you, that’s for sure!
This one may seem like a no-brainer.
If your crush is messaging someone else, even when he is spending time with you, that means his mind is elsewhere. Maybe his heart is, too. Yikes!
Keep an extra eye open when he is doing this. If he doesn’t want you to know his phone’s unlock code, chances are that he is hiding something… or someone!
Transparency and trust (I like to call ‘em the “two t’s”) are so important for a healthy relationship.
Even if you two are just crushing on one another, the two t’s are fundamental building blocks for growing your young love into a lasting relationship.
Get started off on the right foot and make sure your crush respects the two t’s! If he doesn’t you have my personal permission to boot him out the door. Girl power!
6. You Keep Hearing Rumors From Your Friend Circle
If your crush is looking elsewhere (other than at you if you get my drift) then it’s most likely that his buddies know about his secret interest.
They’re probably not the best secret-keepers either so you can be sure that you will learn about your crush’s love interest soon enough.
This can be painful though girl, I must warn you! Hearing the truth from others is not the most ideal way to learn that the guy you really like is, well, just not that into you.
It’s definitely a firewall-proof sign that shows your crush likes someone else though. Hmm, I guess that’s why life is better perceived as a ‘glass half-full’ kinda thing?
Look on the bright side, at least if you know if your crush really likes someone else, then you can finally move on. On to the next crush adventure we go!
7. You See Him Being a Little Too Flirty
A guy who is “extra friendly” may not be as friendly as you may think. Hold your horses before you praise your crush on being so kind and nice towards others.
Does he pay attention to another girl more than he does you? While guys might think they’re being sneaky about this, in reality they are being totally obvious. Does he compliment other girls in front of you?
Watch the eye-contact. Is he gazing into the eyes of another smiling girl?
Beware!! All these subtle signs could be easy to look over, but definitely prove that something is up.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking he is just being friendly. There is definitely a line to be drawn. Most of all, definitely avoid falling victim to one of his tricks!
If you are indeed his mutual crush, then all eyes should be on you, and by all I mean his two peepers.
8. He Leads You on
This sign is super tricky because how do you really know that he is leading you on? Do you even have a clue?
If your crush is really into you one day (when you look extra-fabulous, for example) but then totally ignores you the next day, he may just be leading you on.
What a jerk! This is a painful process that requires some reflection.
It’s hard to tell if he was just having an ‘off-day’ or not, but that should not be an excuse to ignore you.
He could be just really into you because he thought you looked nice and wanted to hook-up. Girl, definitely do not let anyone treat you like a simple booty-call! No ma’am, not on my watch!
9. You Feel Like You’re Chasing After Him
Let’s be honest here.
If you get the feeling that you are always the one chasing after your crush then it’s because he doesn’t feel like chasing you back. His interests may be in stealing another girl’s heart!
Your crush should give 100%. Meaning he should put just as much effort into you as you do him. If it’s not like that, then try to find the underlying cause.
It could be that your crush just likes someone else, pure and simple.
Don’t feel bad! Instead feel happy, you can FINALLY shake that weight off your shoulders.
Go after someone who wants to equally chase after you!
10. You Just Have a Nasty Hunch
Sometimes your crush may be a pro at hiding his true feelings. This means you’re going to have to embrace your secret detective side and study him hard like a CSI murder-scene.
It’s possible your crush doesn’t show any obvious signs that he likes someone else, but you still may have this horrible feeling in your gut that this is nevertheless the case.
If you feel this way, it could be your heart trying to tell you that something’s just not right.
You can try to talk to your crush about it if you feel comfortable enough, otherwise it might be time for a break. If your crush truly likes you, he will wait for you and vice versa.
Love is patient and love is kind, but it definitely does not come without it’s more ugly features.
Hopefully, your crush does not like someone else other than you, but if you are having doubts then these 10 signs will surely help you determine the truth about your crush’s true feelings!
Remember to always be open and honest with your crush and 99.99% of the time your love story will end with a happily ever after.