Having a nice, stable, and happy relationship is a truly wonderful thing in life, and something many aspire to.
But once you’re there, and have been for awhile, while you might be perfectly content, that certainly doesn’t mean it couldn’t be even better.
Doing things to spice up the relationship every now and then, and re-ignite the romance and passion, is a great way to maintain that enviable stability without loosing the thrill of romance.
Here are ten best ways to make him crazy about you.
1. Don’t Create Jealousy
Some people think that intentionally making the one you love jealous can be a good thing.
While the reasoning behind the idea makes a certain amount of sense (“if I make them jealous, they’ll treat me better and spend more time with me”), and jealously is a perfectly natural emotion everyone experiences at one point or another.
To try and create jealousy on purpose in your relationship is manipulative, and just plain not nice.
If you feel the need to do this, you may want to reevaluate how healthy your relationship really is.
2. Say “I Love You” More
It might seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how may people forget to take the time to say those three little words throughout the day.
Say it often, say it with love, and make sure your heart is in it every single time.
There’s a difference between saying “I love you” because you mean it and saying it because you’re expected to, without really thinking.
Try to put as much love into those three little words every time they leave your lips.
It’s important in long-term relationships that you keep reminding each other just how much you each care about each other.
3: Cuddle More
If you both lead busy lives, it can be all too easy to forget about something as simple as cuddles.
Try to set aside time specifically to hold each other, and not just as foreplay or a pretext for sex.
Sex is all well and good for those of you who enjoy it, and it can also make you feel close, so by all means, go crazy, just don’t forget about cuddles for their own sake.
See, there’s something particularly special and comfortable about holding each other close, feeling each other’s warmth, and engaging in what may very well be one of the purest ways to say “I love you” with your actions.
And don’t by shy about subverting gender norms, too! It feels pretty great to be held, and it can feel just as awesome to be the one holding, too, so if you’re in a straight relationship, consider swapping every once in awhile.
4. Never Go to Bed Angry
And if at all possible, try not to go to work or otherwise leave each others’ presence when you’re angry. This only serves to foster resentment and more anger.
Sit down and talk about it like adults until you reach some kind of understanding.
It doesn’t matter if it’s way past your bedtime; make sure you’re on better terms by the time you drift off.
And if you do end up leaving the house angry, then once you’ve cooled off, send them a text or phone call to apologize and tell them you love them.
Relatedly, be honest about your feelings. Don’t bottle up anger and resentment, or you will eventually explode, and it won’t be pretty.
If you have a problem, say so as soon as you realize it, and nip it in the bud. It might not be pleasant to broach difficult subjects, but trust me, you’ll be glad you did.
Any unpleasantness from trying to say there’s something bothering you is nothing compared to the emotional fallout that happens when you burst at the seams after bottling it up for too long.
5. Make Sure You Have Space
This might seem like an odd thing to put in an article all about making your relationship feel closer and more exciting, but it’s important and deserves a mention.
If you and your partner live together, you probably spend a lot of time around each other. If you love each other, this isn’t a problem, and hopefully, you enjoy spending time around one another (and if not…you might want to think about that).
But it’s still important for each of you to have at least one thing that’s your own. Whether it’s a weekly social outing with friends, a hobby that isn’t shared (though you should absolutely support each other in any such hobbies, shared or not), or anything else.
You should be happy spending the majority of your free time together, but just make sure you each have at least one thing you enjoy that doesn’t involve the other.
6. Trust, Trust, Trust
This one can’t be emphasized enough.
If you ever start to feel jealous or concerned about what your significant other is doing on that friend outing and if they’re being approached by any attractive strangers throughout the night, I have one word for you: trust.
If you’re both happy and satisfied in your relationship, then you need to trust each other. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts.
If you don’t, you might want to consider couples’ therapy.
Nothing says “I care about you and want you to be happy” than surprising your loved one with something they enjoy.
It doesn’t particularly matter what it is.
Whether you make your SO’s favorite meal for dinner on a whim or buy a surprise gift you know they’ll adore, or plan a surprise party for them, the bottom line is to create a pleasant surprise to show them how much you love them.
Make sure you do this when they won’t expect it.
A surprise birthday or a great anniversary gift is great, and you should definitely do that, but make sure to do the same kind of thing “just because” every now and then.
This generally helps you to show the love of your life that you don’t need a holiday or special occasion to do something nice for them.
Who says flirting is only in the early stages of dating?
An established long-term relationship can benefit from flirtatious behavior.
Tell each other how great they look, whisper sweet nothings in each others’ ears, blow kisses, make out, hug often, and in general do all the same things you might have done when you first met then and were trying to attract them.
Many successful couples flirt all the way into their 70s. It’s all about making your partner feel valued, loved, and appreciated.
For some more examples…try complimenting them often, and do it in front of other people too.
Get all dressed up and nice-looking for each other like you would on a first date.
Touch each other. Make jokes (dirty ones too, if you’re into that).
In general, remember how you behaved when your relationship was in its infancy, and keep it up!
In case you don’t know the lingo, PDA stands for “public display of affection,” and while some people may frown on such things or be embarrassed about doing it themselves, I say go for it.
Granted, be respectful about the people around you!
If you’re out with a friend or friends, you don’t want to make anyone feel like a “third wheel” (it’s a phenomenon that can totally be avoided, by the way) by say, making out for ten minutes straight when you’re over at a friend’s place for dinner.
But don’t be afraid to, say, put your head on your partner’s shoulder when you’re sitting around, or whisper a flirtatious comment in their ear and giggle, give them a hug or a quick peck, etc, etc.
Bottom line: be respectful of others, but at the same time, don’t let fear of awkwardness stop you from being affectionate, no matter where you are.
10: Remember Why You Fell in Love to Begin With
If there’s just one thing you take away from this article, it should be this: never, ever, ever forget why and how you fell in love with your soul mate in the first place.
My partner and I remind each other once in awhile of how our first kiss happened, or how all our friends realized we were crushing on each other before we did, or of all the qualities that made us adore each other.
There is compassion, courage, gentleness, intelligence, and so much more, and so on and so forth when you remember the old times in your lives.
There’s a reason you two are together.
People don’t just show up at your door and say “I’d like to be your boyfriend/girlfriend” (okay, maybe some people do, but if you encounter one of them, I suggest you call the police).
There was something you each saw in the other, something that made you want desperately to be in each other’s arms, to be loved and cared for by them.
Remember what it is.
Hold on to that. Remind each other about it.
Clutch it tightly and never, ever let go.