There’s a lot pressure on men to come out of the womb as Casanovas.
We see this portrayed in mainstream media where the action hero is expected to be a well-versed lady’s man.
However, films and television shows almost never portray our reality and guys have just as much difficulty meeting and dating as women do.
If you’re too nervous or shy to ask out your crush to take you out, consider these ten ways which may help him gain the courage to ask you out instead.
1. Initiate Conversation
You can’t expect your love interest to ask you out if you aren’t even on speaking terms, yet. Do what you can to introduce yourself to him.
Set a goal for yourself to eventually be comfortable enough to talk to him every time you see him, even if it is simple, casual conversation, such as asking him how his weekend was, or what his thoughts were on the lecture in class the other day.
This will help you both become more acquainted with each other and hopefully, if the interests are mutual, lead to a date.
2. Make Him Feel Comfortable
If the goal is for him to make the first move towards setting up a date, then be sure to show that you’re approachable and friendly.
Asking someone out can be an incredibly daunting, anxiety-ridden experience so easing some of that nervous energy will help motivate him.
To achieve approachability, express to him the parts of your personality that are inherently kind, non-critical, and open.
Making someone comfortable can also mean paying attention to non-verbal cues. For instance, if you notice that eye-contact makes him uncomfortable, then follow that lead by trying to look at something else while he’s talking.
Ensure that this isn’t something else taking your attention away, such as scrolling through your cell phone, as this could tell him that you’re not interested.
On the other hand, if you notice that he’s comfortable with eye-contact and utilizes it a lot, follow that lead.
You can change your non-verbal cues to match his own without having to change who you are.
The human mind subconsciously picks up on these non-verbal cues, helping us to have conversations with each other without saying anything.
3. Give Him Control
Everyone is different and this may not be the right tactic for the individual you have your eyes on, but some guys may feel better about asking you out if they feel they’re in control.
Giving away control can be a slightly scary experience for you, as it may feel like someone else is behind the wheel driving your own life, your own vulnerable emotions.
Let him be the first one to text you or to say hello. In any way you can find, give him the opportunity to be in control of your flirtations.
If he feels he is in control, he will feel confident. And confidence is key when gaining courage to ask someone out.
4. Don’t Be Shy
Putting yourself out there can make you feel like your diary is on display, but if you want to be asked out, your interest should be well known.
No one is a mind reader and some are less socially aware than others. Don’t lose sleep at night over this tactic, you shouldn’t throw yourself into anxiety worrying about how to tell him you like him or would like to go out on a date.
This step can be based on your level of confidence and comfort. If you feel comfortable enough to tell him you like him, then do so.
Even if your level of comfort only goes as far as saying “Hello” to him every day, then do it.
You can’t expect him to be the only one putting himself out there. Just as a relationship takes two people, so too does the early beginnings of one.
5. Mention Your Interests
During a conversation with your crush, find the opening to mention what your personal interests or hobbies in life are.
Perhaps he asks you how your weekend was, you may share with him that you spent it painting or that you went to the movies to see the latest comedy on Saturday.
Try to make it apparent that this is something your passionate about and enjoy doing – whether that’s taking photographs or playing a sport.
Sharing this specific part of yourself with him will give him an opening to ask you out.
If he realizes you enjoy movies, he may ask you to go watch one with him. If you share that you enjoy art, he may ask you to go to a museum or exhibit opening.
In a very simple and seemingly innocent way, you’re possibly already planning the first date by suggesting an activity he already knows you will enjoy. And half the pressure is making sure the date is fun, right?
It’s the oldest trick in the book and ties into a lot of the items on this list. Flirting can mean whatever is most comfortable for you; avoid trying to do anything that you typically wouldn’t do.
If you’re the type to tell him he looks nice or that you think he’s funny, then do so.
Non-verbal flirting, such as winking or physical contact, such as touching his shoulder or placing your hand on his back if only for a moment can show that you like him, as well.
7. Take Advantage of Shared Friends
Sharing the same friend, classmate, or even acquaintance with your crush can be an excellent opportunity to make it known that you’re interested in being asked out.
Being too nervous to boldly tell your crush this is understandable.
Mention to a shared friend that you like or think your crush is cute.
The odds are this information will be passed along, which will take the guess work away from him and give him the confidence to ask you out, knowing it will be a yes.
8. Coordinate a Group Outing
On the same topic of shared friends or co-workers, having this in common with your crush gives you the chance to coordinate a group outing.
Group outings are an excellent way of getting to know someone in a pressure-less environment. This is an opportunity to spend time with your crush outside of work or school and to see how he interacts with others.
You may even find a moment in which the two of you can be alone. Likewise, if you hear about an event happening in which your crush and some of your friends will be going, clear your schedule.
The more time you spend with him, the more comfortable he will become with you and the more chances you’ll have to express how much you like him.
9. Ask Questions
Take a personal interest in his life. Nothing too intense because this could potentially creep him out.
Simply find moments in your conversation with him to ask what he enjoys doing. What’s his favorite band?
Where’s his favorite place to hang out? Has he traveled to different countries? Does he own any pets?
The more you can learn about him, the more you’ll be able to sustain conversation with him.
The more you show that you’re interested in who he is, the more he will be able to conclude that you’d like to go out.
10. Be Yourself
This is the most important task of all. Sometimes our crushes end up being not everything we expected them to be; thus, the phrase “crush”, as in your emotions are crushed.
As you attempt to snag a date with this guy, keep in mind that you’re you. Never change yourself or lower your standards for someone else.
Being yourself helps protect your identity and your emotions. Being yourself is also an extremely attractive quality to the opposite sex as it translates to confidence.
A confident woman is a sexy, desirable woman who knows what she wants, or who she wants.
Being yourself is the most beautiful version of you that you can be and if he likes you back, he will notice this and ask you out as soon as he gets the chance.
Getting asked out can be an exciting moment in your life in which possibilities are overflowing.
There’s all the wonderful yet worrisome details to consider: what to wear, where to go, if he’ll try to kiss you, if it’ll be awkward during or afterwards.
Just remember that being asked out can be incredibly flattering for you, but a potential nightmare for the one doing the asking out.
By making your interest known, ensuring you feel approachable, creating and keeping a connection going, you’ll be one step closer to being asked out by any guy that fancies you.