Just as when we fall in love with someone, the saying it true for realizing you’re being cheated on: When you know, you know.
We can’t always explain how we know we’re in love or how we know we’re being lied to, but there’s something called intuition that can often be right. Trust your intuition.
If you’re suspicious of your boyfriend and believe he may be cheating on you, don’t ignore it. Also understand that accusing a partner of cheating is extremely hurtful to your relationship, especially if it turns out your intuition or suspicions aren’t accurate.
Before making any assumptions, always initiate healthy, calm conversations with your partner in which you express your worry or feeling of being cheated on.
A kind, patient partner that loves you will be able, not only to wash your fears away, but also talk it out and explain why he may have been showing signs of being unfaithful.
Keep this in mind as you read through the ten signs your boyfriend may be cheating on you.
1. He’s Distant
An unfaithful partner may be a distant one. As they begin to become more deeply involved or interested in someone else, their emotional vulnerability with you will begin to dissipate.
This emotional distance may not have an end goal (in other words, he may not be doing it intentionally), it could just be an effect of his guilt and dissatisfaction with himself.
Whether intentional or not, an emotionally distant partner is more easily described as someone who isn’t present, and therefore, not invested in the success of the relationship.
Distracted, less vocal, and less open to communication or intimacy are all signs of emotional distance.
Try not to automatically assume he is cheating if he is distant. There could be something else happening in his life you don’t know about.
If that’s the case, be sure to approach him with care and ask if there’s a reason why he’s been distant lately.
2. You Catch Him Lying
This one ties into distance. If you do mention feeling that he’s been pretty distant lately and he isn’t forthcoming with a response, you may want to consider a heavier issue happening.
A cheating boyfriend may side-step questions, or boldly lie, to answer even the simplest questions, like what he did last night, or what he had for lunch.
If you are and have reason to be suspicious of your boyfriend cheating and you’ve made every attempt to talk to him about it and still sense you aren’t hearing the truth, you may feel the need to snoop.
This is an incredible break in trust in your relationship and can be extremely hurtful to you both, so this should always be a desperate last attempt.
Catching him lying multiple times could be another affirmative sign that your boyfriend is cheating.
3. He Takes Up a New, Random Hobby
Anything sudden or random may raise some red flags, especially when they are in combination with other signs mentioned on this list.
A new hobby that gives him an excuse to not spend time with you could mean that he’s buying himself time out of the house and with someone else.
A sudden interest in a new activity that he’s never shown a desire to do before may be even more suspicious.
4. He Becomes Easily Defensive
If your boyfriend becomes uncharacteristically defensive, it could be a sign that he is cheating on you.
Aggressive snaps sent your way during even the smallest conversations should warrant some worry.
You may come home and ask him how his day was and he could respond angrily, “It was fine!”
Other defensive behavior may include lots of avoiding questions or putting them back on you, such as, “My day was fine. Yours?”
If your boyfriend tends to be more of the strong silent type, then simple, short responses to your questions shouldn’t worry you at all, but if his defensiveness seems more intense than usual, you may want to ask him about it.
It could be that he’s stressed at work or dealing with personal issues he hasn’t shared with you yet.
Short text messages or a sense that he feels you’re out to get him could all indicate defensiveness which is rooted in his guilt of cheating and/or his paranoia of being caught.
5. He Mentions Someone New in His Life
Sometimes a cheater may even mention their other partner to you.
This could happen in passing, even some months ago, when he started a new job and mentioned a co-worker or complained about a female classmate in one of his classes.
If you do find out that your boyfriend is cheating on you, these little hints and puzzle pieces will all come together after the realization.
Paying attention to these details isn’t healthy or recommended, however.
A jealous heart is a selfish and unsettled one. But if you’re already suspicious of him and you remember a name he may have mentioned, there’s a chance this could be who he’s sneaking off to.
6. He Looks for Your Flaws
Perhaps in a subconscious or intentional effort to end your relationship, your partner may begin to search and point out your flaws.
In his mind, he could be categorizing the characteristics of who he is cheating with and you.
Regardless of if he’s cheating or not, a boyfriend who does this doesn’t deserve you, anyway, and either these unhealthy relationship tactics or the relationship should be terminated.
7. Alone Time Becomes More Important to Him
Whether this means him being shut up in a room on his computer, constantly hovering over his cell phone, or choosing to spend his nights home by himself rather than spending time with you, a boyfriend who appreciates his alone time more than he originally did could be a sign of cheating.
Alone time is important in a healthy, sustainable relationship, so you shouldn’t necessarily be wary of this behavior unless it becomes excessive.
But you should not completely ignore it either.
8. He’s Less Willing to Go Out
Suddenly, your boyfriend has become a couch potato and you don’t know why.
Your favorite restaurant that you both loved to go to every weekend goes unattended for a month or more.
Sometimes, this could be a sign of cheating as it reveals his worry of running into his cheating partner while out with you. In this scenario, he may be lying to you both.
Meaning, you are both equally unaware of the other and the longer he can keep this secret from both of his girlfriends, the longer he can fly under the radar of a woman’s wrath.
9. He Doesn’t Introduce You To His Friends
This sign is an extremely suspicious one as it either demonstrates an embarrassment of who he is dating or that he is dating someone else in other circles of friends, peers, or co-workers you’ve never met.
In either regard, a faithful and loving boyfriend should never act ashamed of you.
If after multiple attempts of setting up a group outing with his friends all go unacknowledged or even downright denied, confront him on the subject.
10. He Becomes More Secretive
Secrets don’t make friends and they don’t sustain relationships, either.
A little mystery is okay between a couple, especially when it comes to either of them keeping their individuality and not becoming co-dependent.
However, if you notice your boyfriend becoming more and more secretive, whether he begins locking his cell phone which previously didn’t have a lock, or he lies about where he spends his time without you, these could be signs he’s unfaithful.
Knowing that your boyfriend is cheating on you is probably the last thing you’d want to know in your relationship.
No one deserves for their emotions to be taken advantage of, no one deserves to be lied to, and no one deserves to be cheated on.
If you discover your boyfriend is cheating on you, follow the appropriate steps in taking care of your self-esteem and your emotional health. Distance yourself from their destructive, selfish behavior.
This is the most loving thing you could ever do for yourself.